Wordless Wednesday – a new tree

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Letting go.


My 16 month old brought THIS to me the other day.

I think it has my deceased brother’s voice on it. I think.

I’ve held on to this tape for about 12 years. He’s been dead for 16 years. Each time I find it, I think about it. I think this is a tape recording of him or just an outgoing answering machine message. I don’t even know what it is! I think about finding a tiny little tape player to play it in…just so I can hear his voice. I never do though. I put it away until I find it again a few years later.

And so it goes.

Until the other day.

Now I’ve held on to this little gem for too many years to not at least think about repairing it. Then I stopped the madness. So what? I would repair it to put it away again? I think I keep putting it away because hearing his voice would freak me right the fuck out. Sending me into dark places I haven’t been in years. I haven’t been in those spaces because of people like the cute little cherub that gave me this gift. The gift of letting go.

I’m letting it go.

 

Are you irrationally sentimental like me?

 

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Rainbow Party – Part 3. The kids.

My birthday boys and girl…

[photospace]

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Birthday Blues

Ah hell, I just got a mild case of the birthday blues. Don’t you hate that?

Missing my brother as I stand on the steps of 40 years old and the anniversary of his death.
Is it possible that it’s been 16 years? Amazing how grief can sneak up on you even after all that time.

I read the lyrics to this song at his funeral. I love this version of it.

 

I’m off to cry for a bit then shake it off and get ready for birthdaypalooza weekend…

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