Motherhood on the rocks

Now this post doesn’t pertain to drinking. That would be a happy, albeit incoherent post. Come to think of it, this might get a bit incoherent, so bear with me.

Motherhood on the rocksI’ve had a pretty terrible two (or 200) weeks of parenting recently. I feel like I’m losing control, or what I thought was control over my kids, the schedule, the refrigerator. Basically everything.

My oldest has been such a challenge lately. And all I can think is – it’s all my fault.

It’s all my fault.

Who else could be to blame? It’s my job. I’m responsible for them. For everything about them. For their health and welfare, for their social skills, for their soccer skills for goodness sake. EVERYTHING.

I feel like everything they do and don’t do is a commentary on my parenting. Why hasn’t she taught them this, oh it’s so nice that they do that, did you hear what he just said? Ugh.

Now some might think, “Um, gee, you have THREE kids don’t you? Shouldn’t you have this parenting thing down by now?”

We’ll you’d think and I had hoped. But the fact is I feel like lately nothing is working as it should. In my grandmother’s era I feel like they would just given a kid a good whack and that would be the end of it. I don’t want to hit. I never have. I’m not interested. However, I have yelled to replace where my grandparents and even my parents would have hit. I’m not sure it’s any better. Honestly, I know it’s not. I feel like crap when I yell. I can’t even imagine how they feel.

So I’m doing what I always do with a problem, which is to throw everything I have at it. I’m reading about 5 parenting books. Getting up earlier. Talking more kindly, doing crafts, reading more books, spending less time on the interent (in case you haven’t noticed) and I stopped yelling. Now my fear is that I’ll burn myself out and again be no use to them.

I’m not going to go into specifics of my oldest’s behavior because that’s his business. What’s I can tell you is that timeouts, negotiating, and yelling DO NOT work. They make it worse and make me crazy. And please don’t get me wrong, my kids are amazing. Smart, funny, kind, cute. Oh so cute. This is about me. How I handle their behavior, not their behavior.

Tell me, has your motherhood been on the rocks before? Tell me what you read? What did you do? Because honestly, I feel a little bit like running away and going somewhere to get something else on the rocks. Anyone care to join me?

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Sunflower Girl

We went to the CSA the other day to pick up our bounty. Sunflowers were a part of it.


Um, it’s bigger than her head.

 

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Use the good stuff.

I received a package in the mail a few weeks back and it contained a lovely thank you gift. A pretty bracelet and  a yummy bar of soap. My 4yo daughter was with me as I opened the package. I smelled the soap through the paper and said “oooh that smells nice”. She smelled it and agreed.

I was about to go bring it upstairs and she stopped me. She wanted to know where exactly I was bringing the yummy soap that I just said smelled so pretty. I told her that I was going to put it away so we could save it.

“Why?” She said.

So I could’ve told her a bunch of stuff about how we save stuff for guests, or holidays, or special occasions and really meant it. But I looked at her face and how truly puzzled she was by my impending action. She stopped me in my tracks that day and things really haven’t been the same around here since.

Lately I’ve been feeling like, why not? Why not use my good face lotion everyday? Why not use the pretty glass pitcher for water when we don’t have guests? Why wait for a party? Wear that pretty sundress to Macy’s! That champagne in the back of the cabinet? As Chef Ming Tsai said “Champagne goes with everything, including mornings.”

Why not use the good stuff?? I think that this is a sentiment that my grandmothers would wholly disagree with. These are women that would pack away the good plates as soon as the holiday dinner was over. The notion of saving things has been taking up a lot of space in my noggin these days. But all this stuff? And no one is promised tomorrow.

So my daughter and I opened that soap right then and there and put it in the downstairs bathroom for everyone to enjoy. She uses it every day and encourages everyone that comes over to check out how pretty it smells.

What the heck are you saving your yummy smelling soap for?  Use the good stuff already.

 

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Old school baggin’ it.

I went to the grocery the other day, spur of the moment, so, no bags. When I asked for paper the bagger took out a paper bag IN a plastic bag.

“The paper bags don’t have handles so we have to put them in plastic if you want to carry them that way.”

Or anyway for that matter, I think to myself. The paper bags were tiny. She sees the look on my face and says they have other bigger paper bags… She busts out these beauties.

 

Giant old fashioned, I’m going to the A & P and Tommy will carry these to the car for me – paper bags.
“Wow, those are so old fashioned!” I say.
“Sometimes the old fashioned ways are just better.”, she says.
Indeed bagger lady, indeed. It’s like she KNEW I just started a new blog.
Freaky.

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