Teach them not to rape.

Between the peanut flour in the pretzels I used to let Theo eat, the possibility that my kids have been drinking lead water for YEARS, and the end of school year crazy: I have not given the proper outrage to the Standford case.
Please read the victim’s statement. We need her to know that we see her and that we believe her. That we know this case is about misogyny and white privilege, and RAPE (not “action”).

I vow to her that I will raise boys that chase down the rapist of an unconscious girl and hold him down until the police arrive. I will teach them NOT TO RAPE. They will be the boys that help, not harm. This has to stop.


I was not only told that I was assaulted, I was told that because I couldn’t remember, I technically could not prove it was unwanted. And that distorted me, damaged me, almost broke me. It is the saddest type of confusion to be told I was assaulted and nearly raped, blatantly out in the open, but we don’t know if it counts as assault yet. I had to fight for an entire year to make it clear that there was something wrong with this situation.

A life, one life, yours, you forgot about mine. Let me rephrase for you, I want to show people that one night of drinking can ruin two lives. You and me. You are the cause, I am the effect. You have dragged me through this hell with you, dipped me back into that night again and again. You knocked down both our towers, I collapsed at the same time you did. If you think I was spared, came out unscathed, that today I ride off into sunset, while you suffer the greatest blow, you are mistaken. Nobody wins. We have all been devastated, we have all been trying to find some meaning in all of this suffering. Your damage was concrete; stripped of titles, degrees, enrollment. My damage was internal, unseen, I carry it with me. You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.


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