Minecraft Steve loses an arm. A parenting WIN.

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Sometimes I get parenting right. Sometimes I get it ALL WRONG. The other day it fell somewhere squarely in the middle.

“Can’t we just craft him a new arm?” Yes, I actually said that to my distraught 8 year old when the Steve figure he just got in his end of school gift lost his arm.

“Maybe we can craft him a new arm?” {sarcasm}

Yes, I said it twice. Nice mom, right? Ugh.

Listen, I told him not to bring the thing to the park. It’s small. He doesn’t need it there. But he was enamored with it and wanted it with him. We had been at the park about an hour when he came over to me, sullen. “I lost Steve’s arm.”

A kid can cover A LOT of ground in an hour at this particular park. It’s a big park with a playground, baseball fields, tennis courts, basketball courts, giant sand pile. They are big enough that it’s all up for grabs. All of it.

So he comes over and says it’s lost. I have to tell you. I am unreasonably angry about this. Most of my anger is in my head, but some of it comes out. I told him not to bring it.

I would give my left boob for him to listen to me. Ever. He NEVER listens to me. Everything is a negotiation. I can’t just say please leave it here and he says ok. I would fall down dead if he just said ok, mom. And then someone would come take my left boob, because I said I would give it up. Fair is fair.

Everything becomes a 10 minute conversation about why he should bring it, do it, have it etc. Pleading and deals and promises. I have two other children who say Ok, Mom. But this one. THIS ONE? Deeeeeeeep breath.

So, I do not have a child that I can say please do X and he does it. He has ADHD and we’re dealing with it. Some days are better than others. This day I give in, against my better judgement. I KNOW he’s going to lose Steve but I let him bring him anyway. He will make a spectacular lawyer someday.

So on this day in parenting world, I was screaming inside my head “WHY THE EFF DID YOU BRING IT TO THE PARK WHEN I ASKED YOU NOT TO?” My outside voice said “Where did you last see it buddy?” He tells me over by the baseball field or the sand pile.

Seriously?

The SAND PILE?

This is only 1/4 of the sand pile. Maybe even 1/8 of it. It’s HUGE.

He says he threw him against the baseball backstop and he thinks maybe the his arm fell off there. So we look there first. Doing a grid search like a professional search and rescue team for Steve’s arm. Nothing.

We both look at the sand pile. He says, “It’s Steve mom. Minecraft, Mom.” UuuuuuuuuuGH!!

I tell him that I don’t think this will turn out well. It can’t possibly. Minecraft Steve will have to be fitted with some sort of lego prosthetic.

I take one end of the sand pile and he takes the other.

So you know how this ends right? Not one minute into the search I find it. The grumpy- I told you so parent wants to make him squirm. But I can’t help myself. I scream and hold it up in victory. He screams. Tells me I’m the best  mom ever. (Hrmpf. Until five minutes from that moment when I tell him it’s time to leave. Then we need to negotiate THAT.)

So this day, THIS DAY? I WIN parenting. Because not only was I god damn right that he would lose Minecraft Steve, I did not lose my shit when he told me. I found it and then I did the only sensible thing I could. I celebrated queen of the world style on the top of sand pile. With some cabbage patch dance moves to the tune of  “Who’s better than me?. Yes I did.

Because sometimes if you’re not a little crazy while you parent, you’ll go a little crazy trying to keep it all together.

I’m going to go craft myself a glass of wine now.

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*Disclosure: That’s a Minecraft Amazon affiliate link up there!