Imploding in the presence of an idol.
I met one of my bloggy idols at BlogHer this weekend. I yelled in her face, called her sarcastic, and all around made an ass of myself. True story.
Here’s how it went down. My friend Cindy and I were waiting for the BlogHer fashion show to start. There were people sitting next to us and then they left or moved or went to pee. I don’t know.
Three other people come over and ask to sit there. I stumble saying “No there are people sitting there. Maybe. I don’t know. They could’ve left.” (Time one I look like an idiot).
Then I notice that it’s Liz. LIZ!
No, no, sit down it’s cool. Sit. Sit. I feel like my italian grandmother (see how I tied that in there ;-) Sit. Eat. Sit. Have you eaten? Sit. Gah!
So they sit. She introduces herself. I do as well. I say I’m a fan. So nice to meet you. She is very gracious.
Now the music cranks up. Fashion show beigins. I lean over to her and open with “I’d love to be in advertising” Not only is Liz a businesswoman, a writer, and a blogger, she’s also tops in the advertising world. Sidebar: I feel like I have an uncanny ability to detect which ads will work and which will flop. I love critiquing ads and figuring out how they would work better. I have a background in video, specifically development videos. I have a Masters in Philanthropy and Media. I have skills people. SKILLS.
Of course I say none of this because it is SO LOUD and I am freaking out because she is sitting next to me. She asks me what I do. I launch into a completely ridiculous list of my entire work history. (Time two I look like an idiot) In my head I’m screaming at myself “You idiot! Do you want to run and get your resume for her, you ASS? STOP IT! Just stop talking and ask about her. For godssake -shut it.”
I somehow get to the part about working in human services, which was like a lifetime ago. OMG. And she says “Well it’s changing lives.” or something lovely like that and I think she’s still on advertising and why the heck I would want to do that. So I ask her if she’s being sarcastic and I see her physically flinch. OMFG, what did I just say? What is wrong with me? She was paying me a compliment and I basically just asked her if she was an asshole? (Aaaaand there’s time three I look like an idiot.) Sigh.
I mutter (yell) a few more things then I say “I’m a mom” and shrug my shoulders. Which is probably like nails on a chalkboard for her. If you read her blog then you know why she would likely be sad that I said that. At least I didn’t say JUST a mom. But I swear to God I almost did. I think I choked on the ‘just’ and it fell on the floor or something.
At this point I just want to run away or vaporize. Vaporize would be better, maybe she would think I was super cool then. Then I would be in one of HER blog posts “So I met this woman at BlogHer and she vaporized right in front of me.” Cool, right? No. I did not stop.
Mercifully she turns away so I will STOP TALKING, I imagine.
A few minutes later I say something about a dog holding room – there were puppies in the fashion show. She seems like she’s listening, to be polite. Meanwhile I’m sure screaming in her own head LET ME WATCH MY FRIENDS IN THE FASHION SHOW.
Fashion show ends. She gets up and says it was really nice to meet you, very genuinely. I did not give her my card or even tell her my blog name, because I was too busy imploding and yelling and likely spitting on her.
So now I am basically outing myself as the dufus that sat next to Mom 101 at the BlogHer Fashion Show. I’m linking to her because who doesn’t love inbound links, amirite? We even have mutual friends, sorry guys. I’m sure she would say she doesn’t remember it this way because she’s just that lovely. Double sigh.
So there you have it. I met one of my bloggy idols and imploded. Awesome.
Someone please tell me they have a similar -I met someone I admire and said something stupid- story. Please?