Life and death

All of the wakes and funerals are over.  Life and death, and birth, have been on my mind a lot lately.

My grandfather died on January 31st.  My 39th (gulp) birthday came along.  The 15th anniversary of my little brother’s death was March 19th.  My husband’s 40th in April.

Then last week.  Oh dear God, there was last week.  My Nana died on Sunday morning and my husband’s cousin died on Sunday afternoon.  Then Thursday night a friend’s father died.

I had to go buy new clothes for my guy for all the funerals.

All of this as I am pregnant and caring for two kids 3 and under.  I have little or no time to grieve.  Do I explain death to an almost 4 year old?  Do they go to the wake?  What if it’s an open casket?  How do I explain that?

My grandparents lived long full lives and their deaths were imminent.  In some ways a relief for my parents.  They have been caring for them for the last eight years.  My mother has been basically living in her mother in laws basement for 8 YEARS!  They are all tapped & nurtured out.  When my grandparents moved to a nursing home last year (the one my mother works at as a hospice nurse- still taking care of them :-) my Dad started to renovate the house.  Preparing for them to come back home or to make a nicer spot for himself and my mom to retire in.  He really wanted my grandparents to see it finished.

My husbands cousin had Huntington’s Disease that he fought until the very end.  I first met him on the beginning of his decline from the disease.  I could tell then that he was a fighter.  His daughter whom he hardly knew because he wife divorced him after he was diagnosed, traveled from Mississippi to say goodbye.  As I told her how sorry I was for her loss a single tear drifted down her cheek.  I had to leave the room after that.  It was all too much.

Then my good friend George’s Dad died.  I have known George since 2nd grade.  Many of my friends IRL I have known for that long.  We grew up in a small town and stayed close through high school and beyond.  I knew his father well.  I know his whole family well.  I was devastated for George.  He was sick, but was making progress.  George was just telling me at my husband’s birthday party how they were making plans for him to come home in May.  Then he was gone.

Being nine months pregnant through that week was helpful, and not so much.  The hormones got the better of me at times.  But my belly provided a much needed distraction for some from the grief they were wanting to push aside. Instead they focused on my belly and the life it was nurturing.

We will all die one day this is for certain, but it always comes as such a shock doesn’t it?  Even when it is expected.

So I have had my fill of death for a while I think, I hope.  I am moving on to birth.  Waiting for my new little one to arrive any day.

I am moving on to this thing called Life. Despite the setbacks, the death and the grief.  There is life, and life is good.

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  1. I am so sorry for all of your losses, and for those of your family and friends… I hope you are able to find support and comfort in each other and in the new life that will soon be a part of your family.

  2. I’m so sorry for your losses, Sharon. My thoughts are with you and I hope that your new baby will bring comfort to all of you during this time. Remember, as awful as it is, it is all part of that circle of life:

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