38 weeks then never again

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I was going to write a joyous post about being 38 week and being nearly done with this pregnancy.  Joyous because I AM DONE.

I had (have) an upper respiratory infection for the past two weeks that has rendered me basically useless.  Now I can hardly walk from the strain that all the coughing has put on my muscles.  The baby is huge.  I AM HUGE.

Then I think about being done and it’s permanence.  I will never be pregnant again after this.

Three and out – that’s what I told my husband.  He had to be talked into the third.  He thought he may have been able to get away with two because it was a boy and a girl.  But I wanted three.  THREE  I say.  He relented, with not much of a fight I might add.

But never again.  This pregnancy has been the worst by far.  Morning sickness, hormones, exhaustion.  It’s been a long nine months.  My kids want me back, need me back.  My husband would secretly say the same too.   The thought of the baby inside of me keeps me going.  He’s full term but could stay for three more weeks if he wanted or needed to.

As miserable physically as I am right now, there is much that I will miss about being pregnant.  I am sure that years from now when I see a beautifully pregnant woman I may yearn to do it again.  But for now I am done.  So done.

So I say never again, but I say it with a bit of a sigh today.